“There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.” KJV
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” NIV I sometimes feel like David when he wrote Psalm 57:4: “My soul is among lions: and I lie even among them that are set on fire, even the sons of men, whose teeth are spears and arrows, and their tongue a sharp sword.” This is not because of sharp words said to me necessarily, but because I hear so many wicked things said about other people. Sharp-tongued “lions” are all around us. Being a man who makes his living primarily using his tongue to speak to people, I want to be real careful that I do not “speak with a forked tongue.” I want to be careful that my words do not cut a negative swath through people’s hearts. I think that you should feel the same no matter what your occupation. Let me explain what I mean. We speak with “healing tongues" when we say positive things to people. Think about it for a minute: Don’t you like it when people say nice and kind things to you? In my preaching I try to speak positively to people. This doesn’t mean that I never say negative things. (More about this later) What it means is that I want my words to help bring healing to the hearts of the people who hear me preach. But this does not just apply to preaching; rather, it applies to all of our relationships in life. We need to be careful that we do not say hurtful words to people. All you have to do before you say a hurtful thing is to ask yourself if you would want such a thing said to you. There are some people who are so negative, and their tongues so “piercing” that we would really prefer not to be around them. We speak with healing tongues when we say negative things to people in a positive way. Are you confused by this? Well, I’m going to explain what I mean. Paul gave us some direction on this in Colossians 4:6: “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” I think that “seasoned with salt” means that we should not be mealy-mouthed when we speak to people, nor should we give false flattery. Speaking with grace, means that we want to be careful not to hurt the other person’s feelings by what we say. If your purpose is to hurt someone’s feelings, you are wrong from the outset. Let me give you an example of speech not done with grace and not seasoned with salt: “Preacher, that’s about the worst sermon I’ve ever heard.” Or you might say: “Jane where in the world did you get that tacky hat?” Now let’s see speech given with grace and seasoned by salt: “Preacher, that sermon gave me some things that I need to think about.” You didn’t say “I enjoyed the sermon,” you just told him the truth that he did say some things that you need to think about. If he didn’t, just don’t say anything. As for Jane with her “tacky” hat, you might say: “Jane it is good to see you today.” You notice that the hat was not even mentioned. The point: If what you are going to say is going to ruin someone’s day, keep your mouth shut. Jesus said both positive and negative things to people. He took the self-righteous Pharisees to task, and He let the people who were making the temple into a “den of thieves” know that He was not pleased with them. We need to remember, however, when we talk to people that we are not Jesus. But we also need to remember that sometimes we need to just tell people the truth and let the chips fall where they may. But we don’t need to do this in a nasty, judgmental way, and make it seem that we are looking down our noses at them. Even negative things that we say should be with “grace, seasoned with salt.” We just need to remember that too much salt is worse than not enough salt. Even when we are correcting people, we need to be redemptive, and not just negative or mean-spirited. I know that it is not always easy to do this, but if we want to be effective witnesses for Jesus, we will certainly be aware of the impression that we leave. If our purpose is to give “a piece of our mind,” we need to remember that we don’t have the mind to spare. If our purpose is to help keep someone from the error of their way, then we will have healed and not hurt. Keep in mind that not everyone will appreciate even speech given with grace, but you will know that you have said the right thing in the right way. My closing advice here is that if you are not sure what the motives of your heart are when you are speaking with other people; just don’t say anything – kyms (keep your mouth shut). Bro. Joe
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“Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He, who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law….”
James is telling his readers to be careful what they say to each other. We should always speak wisely. What does it mean to speak wisely? Would I want said about me what I am about to say about someone else? We would really like to think that people only say great things about us, but we know that this isn’t always true. I mentioned to a lady in one of my churches that I would like to have a device that would enable me to hear what people are saying about me. She said, “No you wouldn’t…” Well, would you want said about you what you say about others? Would I want said to me what I am about to say to someone else? It would be good that when we say ugly things to people, the words could boomerang and come back and slap us in the face. I love the counsel given by Proverbs 25:11: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” When we speak to each other we need to make sure that our words are “fitly spoken.” Our words should be used to actually help people; therefore, we should try to make sure that what we say to people, negative or positive, will actually help them. Proverbs 12:25 comes to mind: “Heaviness in the heart of a man (or woman) makes it stoop: but a good word makes it glad.” A good word at the right time has done me a lot of good over the years, and I hope I have reciprocated with good words to others. Would I say to, or about, someone what I am about to say in the presence of Jesus? (Whoa!!!) That does set the bar high!!! We need to remember that Jesus actually is present when we speak to, or about, each other. Perhaps before we speak to someone else, we should imagine that Jesus is standing there. This would really help us to choose our words more carefully. Will what I am about to say make the person to whom I am speaking a better person? Jesus spoke negative and positive things to people, but whatever He said would have make their lives better if they had listened. If the Pharisees had listened to Jesus, they would certainly have been better people. I hope that what I have written has been “fitly written,” and will make you think about what you say to and about people. Bro. Joe “A time to keep silence and a time to speak….”
Ecclesiastes is an unusual book and some things in it are hard to understand. Our text verse in chapter 3 is not difficult to understand: There is a time to close our mouths and a time to open them. if you are like me, there are times that you speak out of turn and say to yourself later, “Why did I say that?” I want to feed off of the wisdom of this short verse in this article and point out some times that it would be good to keep silent. It is good to be silent when we don’t really have anything to say. Sometimes we talk just to hear ourselves talk, or we want to throw in our two cents worth to add to the conversation. We need to learn that if we don’t have anything to say that will be helpful to the conversation it would be better if we just kept our mouths shut. As I type this, I am saying to myself "physician heal thyself.” A good lesson to learn is that if we do not talk out of turn, we will never have any reason to regret what we say. It’s good to be silent when we don’t have anything constructive to say. What I mean by this is if what we have to say does not offer encouragement to the person with whom we are talking, it is better just to be quiet. Sometimes discouraging words will come up in our mouths before we get our minds in gear. One of my daily prayers is that I will be an encouragement to somebody on that day. Most often that encouragement, or discouragement, will come from what we say. I do not mean to imply here that we always have to say positive things to encourage people, but I think that the positive things that we say to other people should be predominant. Some of the best advice that I have gotten from people has been about something negative, but the people who said the negative things said it in a way that was constructive. We will never grow if all we ever hear are things that appeal to our egos. I think that this is what Paul meant in Colossians 4:6: “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer every man.” A good rule of thumb is that if what you have to say, negative or positive, will really help a person, say it, if not seal your lips. It’s good to be silent when we have not heard the whole story. Proverbs 18:13 reminds us: “He that answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.” This is how gossip gets started. It is really best to not speak about anything before we know what the real story is. One story that I have shared over the years about this is about Senator Inouye of Hawaii. When he was sworn in as senator, the editor of a newspaper made a big deal out of the fact that Senator Inouye took his oath of office with his left hand raised instead of his right hand. Imagine how he felt when he was told that Senator Inouye could not raise his right hand because he lost his right arm in the Second World War. A good thing to do when we hear something about somebody is to just not say anything to anybody about it. I certainly have not written this to be judgmental toward people, for I have to watch my words just like everybody else. I know that we would all be better off in our families, communities and churches if we would all follow this sound biblical advice. Bro. Joe "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down." (NIV)
Occasionally, one verse of scripture expresses truth so eloquently that it grabs your attention instantly. Proverbs 26:20 is one of those verses. (Of course, Proverbs is full of these kinds of verses.) The truth is that gossip is like wood that is added to a fire; as the wood is added the fire grows bigger. I guess all of us have seen this illustrated in about every area of life. You've probably seen gossip blow up "nothing things" at work. One person decides to add a bit of gossip to an issue that has arisen and it goes all through the company until it is all out of proportion. This is certainly true in the political arena. I don't know why in the world anyone would want to run for high office, because people with armloads of "wood" are out there just waiting to pile it on. I can't figure why anybody with anything negative in his or her past would run for public office. "Wood haulers," another term for gossips, are also alive and well in the church. I have seen things that have no significance at all become large issues in the church. For example, the pastor might say something to one of the church members in a private conversation. The person to whom the pastor spoke tells someone else what the pastor said. That person tells it and changes it a little bit. By the time it gets around the community via telephone it is nothing like what the pastor said. You've probably played the game of "Gossip." People sit in a circle and whisper whatever was said by the first person to speak; thus it goes around the circle. Invariably, what was first said has been blown all out of proportion. This is the way gossip is. Truth has nothing to do with it as people add their own embellishments to whatever is being gossiped about. This is why we Christians need to be careful what we say about each other. As gossip makes its rounds, truth goes out of the window. Surely, we would not want to be a party to a lie ruining someone's reputation. We need to get out of the "wood hauling" business. Don't you agree? Bro. Joe |
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