“Be not a witness against thy neighbor without cause; and deceive not with thy lips. 29. Say not, I will do so to him as he has done to me: I will render to the man according to his work.”
This text forbids retaliating against our "neighbors." Here is what is wrong with retaliation: First, retaliation is wrong. There is a refrain against needless retaliation throughout the Bible. Most importantly, Jesus taught against it in the Sermon on the Mount, by teaching us to “turn the other cheek,” or to “go the second mile.” The Bible does not teach us that it will be easy not to retaliate, but it does teach us that it is wrong to retaliate.(I have to remind myself of this often.) Second, retaliation never does any good and leads to more and more destruction. The famous story about the feud between the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s comes to mind. The sad thing is that it was a real feud that went on and on and never did anything good for either family. I have seen retaliation destroy churches, which are supposed to be made up of Christians who should know better. Unresolved retaliation leads to a bitter spirit. Hebrews 12:14-15 warns about it: “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord. 15. Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.” Third, unless someone wises up and ends it, retaliation never ends. There is no such thing as “getting back.” When one person gets back at another person, the other person gets back, then the first person gets back, and it just goes on and on until one of the people sees the fruitlessness of it and ends it. (Wow what a long sentence.) Because retaliation is endless, it never brings satisfaction to the soul – to the heart. As long as we are retaliating, our hearts are not at peace. Fourth, the only remedy for retaliation is forbearance and forgiveness. Forbearance means, for example, that we overlook the wrong that we think was done to us. Forgiveness means that we have actually forgotten the insult and moved on with our lives. Frankly, I do not want to give anybody the power to rob me of peace in my heart. Peace with God means more to me than getting back at another person. I did not say that I am never tempted to retaliate, or that I have never tried to retaliate. Hey, I ain’t perfect. I just know that retaliation did not bring me peace until I forgave the person, or people, and moved on with my life. That is the case against retaliation. Amen! Bro. Joe
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Proverbs 12:16 - "A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult." 13:3 - "He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly comes to ruin." 15:1 - "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." 15:28 - "The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil."
I never thought of myself as "playing the fool," but in my younger days I did it a lot. Why? Because I used to always retaliate when I thought I had been insulted or belittled in some way. By "younger days," I do not mean in my teens, but after I was a grown man. This means that I did some retaliation as a pastor, which is really, really stupid. I mellowed as time went on, because I realized that my sharp tongue was not getting me anywhere. Eventually, I learned how to overlook things people said and not take it to heart. When we retaliate instead of overlooking things that people say, we always speak rashly. This means that what we say is something that we should not have said. Another lesson I learned as time went on, was that "a gentle (soft) answer turns away wrath. " It not only makes a difference in what we say in response to what people say to us, but in how we say it as well. That was a valuable lesson for me to learn, because "a harsh word stirs up anger." If we really want to have good relationships with people be careful how we say what we say to them. (Not good grammar, but I hope you get my point.) If someone waits on me at a restaurant, for example, their demeanor and attitude makes a difference to me. I like to give nice tips, but it is easier when the server talks gently, and acts like he or she enjoys waiting on people. I try to remember this in my own relationships. A great lesson that I've learned is to think before I speak. "But the mouth of the wicked gushes evil," means that when we speak without thinking, we say the wrong thing. An "evil" word does not have to be an ugly word, it can be a word that hurts instead of helps. I like for people to think before they speak to me; therefore, I have learned that I should do the same. I'm glad I learned these lessons from Proverbs, and I hope that you will learned these lessons as well. Bro. Joe |
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